Twenty Ways to Show Off

This is an extract of an article by

Sheikh Salman b. Fahd al-Oadah

General Supervisor of the IslamToday Website

1. Publicizing one’s good deeds:
Some people go around intentionally taking about the things they have done, boasting about their virtues. They cannot sit with others without saying: “I did this and I did that… I spent so much in charity.” Sometimes they can be a bit more subtle, like saying: “Actually, I cannot stay up in prayer at night more than two hours…” or: “Unfortunately, I cannot cope with fasting every day, so I must suffice with fasting on Mondays and Thursdays…” In this way, they want to show others just how much they are praying and fasting.

They only publicize their good works and make sure to perform them in front of others in order to earn the people’s praise. This is why it is preferable for most acts of worship to be done in private. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said : “O people! Pray in your homes, for truly the best prayers are those that a person prays are at home, with the exception of the prescribed prayers.”18 It is, therefore, preferable for voluntary prayers to be made in the privacy of one’s own home. This protects the worshiper from the whispers of Satan and makes certain that the prayers are not being performed for show. It also prevents the home from becoming like a graveyard where no prayers are made. A further benefit of praying at home is that it impresses the children of the house with the importance of prayer. However, voluntary prayers that are supposed to be made in congregation are an exception to this rule, like the eclipse prayers, the prayer for rain, the Tarâwîh prayer, and the two `خd prayers (if we deem the `خd prayers to be voluntary).

The same goes for charity. Allah says: “If you make public your charity, it is well, but if you conceal it and give it to the poor, then it is better for you.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 271]

A person should always give charity in secret and not give it publicly unless he can make sure not to fall into showing off and sees that making it public will bring about some greater good. Sometimes public charity can encourage others by example. In the case of spending on the war effort, it can make the enemy cower.

Some people do charitable works publicly to get their names printed in the papers or to receive official recognition for their works. If the intention of such individuals is to garner more public support for the charitable efforts in question, then it is good. Otherwise, it is merely showing off. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Actions are but by intentions, and every person will only get what he intended.”19 Allah says: “Whether you hide your words or make them known, He certainly has full knowledge of what is in the hearts. Should He who created not know, and He is the Subtle, the Aware?” [Sûrah al-Mulk: 13-14]

2. Making false claims:
There is a type of person who likes to boast about things he never did. He may claim that he struggled for Islam with patience and forbearance. He may even claim to have suffered persecution and hardships in the path of Allah. If he meets someone who does not know about his past, he goes on to tell him: “I used to do this and I used to say that…”, speaking about a past more embroidered than true.

This person goes on like this in front of others in order to earn a reputation for himself. This behavior is worse than the one we have just gotten through discussing, since it combines between two evils: showing off and lying. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A person who claims to be given things he has never been given is a double liar.”20

One trick is for a person to leave his own country and go to another so he can pass himself off to them as some great martyr by embroidering tales about himself.

A poet wrote:

Claims not backed by solid proofs
Turn their claimants into braggarts.

Then there is the poser who wishes to pass himself off as a learned person. He claims that he spent years studying with a certain sheikh and that he was one of his nearest and dearest disciples.

I know a person who claims that he memorized the Qur`ân with its seven different styles of recitation. He would say to people : “I learned from a number of sheikhs” then go on to mention the names of the leading scholars of our time. I know this person, and I know he cannot even read the Qur’ân properly from a book, forget about his reciting it by heart or knowing different styles of recitation.

Some people, though, are more insidious than that. They speak about the scholars of our time – especially those among them who have died – as if they were his colleagues, not his teachers. They tell anecdotes about those sheiks as if they had experienced them firsthand. By doing so, all they are trying to do is fabricate a relationship between themselves and these sheikhs that does not exist. This is a sickness of the heart that becomes only more horrendous when it afflicts those who are supposed to be people of knowledge.

3. Becoming a show off after having been sincere:
A person begins doing something for the sake of Allah alone, like offering prayer, spending in charity, or glorifying Allah in an audible voice. Then he realizes that people can see him. This makes him do even more. He prays a little longer, spends a little more, or glorifies Allah with even greater eloquence. When a person finds himself in this situation, he should fight against the urge to show off. He should say what the Prophet (peace be upon him) taught Abû Bakr to say to ward it off: “O Allah! I seek refuge with you from associating partners with you knowingly and I seek your forgiveness for what I do unknowingly.”21

If the intention to show off establishes itself in his heart and he continues to increase his efforts to impress the people, then his works will fall under one of the two following outcomes:

If his deeds were of a nature that they could be divided into separate acts, then he will be rewarded for what he did for the sake of Allah and will be sinful for what he did to show off to the people. For example, a person gives two hundred pounds in charity. The first hundred he gave sincerely for Allah’s sake. The second hundred he gave to impress the people. He will be rewarded for the first hundred and be sinful for the second.

If his deed was of a kind that cannot be divided, like a single prayer, then his showing off nullifies the deed in its entirety.

Some people fall victim to the opposite affliction. They become so scared of showing off that they avoid performing good deeds because of it. They have jumped from the frying pan into the fire, so to speak.

True sincerity is to be concerned with Allah and to disregard the people altogether, neither performing deeds because of them nor abstaining from deeds on their account.

This brings us to the fourth way of showing off:

4. Abandoning deeds because of the people:
Al-Fudayl b. `Iyâd had harsh words for those who abandoned performing good works because of the people. He said: “Abandoning deeds because of the people is showing off. Performing deed for their sake is polytheism. Sincerity is where Allah protects you from both.”

Some people go to the mosque. Then when they get there and see the people there, they become afraid of showing off. They start to come to the mosque late because of this and sometimes might miss the prayer altogether. This becomes their habit. Coming to the mosque early becomes one of the most difficult things for them to do.

Some people who read or memorize the Qur’ân, when they see that others are listening to them, become afraid of showing off. They stop reading the Qur’ân. This is tragic, especially when the people who do so are among those who have memorized the Qur’ân or who teach it to others.

Abandoning one’s good deeds is a grave error. What the worshipper must do is cease to worry about created beings altogether, neither performing anything for their sake nor abstaining from anything for their sake.

One of the reasons for this behavior is that the person who is supposed to perform a given deed has an exaggerated view of his own importance and the importance of what he is about to do. He may ha ve to give the Friday sermon or give a small talk after prayer where he can encourage what is right and discourage what is wrong. He begins to imagine that what he is doing is some great deed and that people will start quoting his words. Maybe he thinks that what he has to say will become the talk of the town. He may become a bit impressed with himself at this point, and here is where he starts to fear showing off. He sees the only way to play it safe is not to talk and not to act.

This is one of the devil’s tricks. The only way for a person to stay immune to it is to accustom himself to doing good deeds and to see those deeds as small and insignificant when he does them. He must at the same time accustom himself to not attaching any importance to what people say. He must be able to recognize his own faults and realize the shortcomings in his works. Then, when someone offers him unwelcome praise, it will not harm him in any way. It will be as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “…glad tidings being presented to the believer early.”22

5. Making worship noticeable in a subtle way:

A person might conceal his worship, or at least seem to be doing so, while making sure people know about it in a roundabout way. For example, a man might be busy with praising Allah or seeking his forgiveness. He keeps his remembrances quiet, but he moves his lips in a conspicuous manner so that anyone who sees him will know that he is engaged in the remembrance of his Lord. He might even raise his voice once in a while ever so slightly to bring attention to himself. What he desires is for people to praise him for what he is doing. Actions are but by intentions, and every person will have only what he intended. Therefore, if a person inadvertently draws attention to himself, not meaning to show off, then there will be no harm. However, if he does something ever so subtle with the intention of drawing attention to himself, then he has not only showed off but made a pretense of sincerity while doing so. And Allah says:

“Whether you hide your words or make them known, He certainly has full knowledge of what is in the hearts. Should He who created not know, and He is the Subtle, the Aware?” [Sûrah al-Mulk: 13-14]

A person, when food is presented to him, abstains from it and says: “Today is Thursday” as if to imply that he always fasts on Thursdays. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed us that when food is presented to us, we should eat it if we are not fasting, and if we are fasting, we should make a small prayer for the one who offered us.23 A good prayer would be something like: “May Allah bless you in your food and drink and in what Allah provides for you.”

(to be continued, Insya Allah)